Nog-topia

So what's goin' on with the nog? Better yet, what the hell is Eggnog and why do we drink it during the holiday season?

Well, normally it is egg, sugar, milk, cream which is beaten like a 60's Watts rioter and topped with cinnamon and nutmeg.

It is thought that name is a condensed version of "egg'n grog in a noggin"
--we'll talk about Grog another day...as for the noggin, that was a small wooden cup used for drinking in old time English taverns.

So eggs were hard to come by in the 17th century and milk went bad quickly because the first refrigeration system didn't appear until the 1800s. At social gatherings eggs cream and alcohol (normally rum or brandy) were mixed into this big bowl and served cold to warm up guests and not really considered so much a Christmas brew, but more a Wintertime drink.

So enough of that...let's mix!

Traditional Eggnog 8 egg yolks
2/3 cup sugar plus 2 tablespoons
2 pints whole milk
2 cups heavy cream
6oz bourbon (some use rum or brandy or even split the base alcohol amount and put them all in there...it's up to your taste really)
2 teaspoons fresh grated nutmeg
8 egg whites

Most nog recipes call for doing it the old fashioned way...raw. What am I training to fight Apollo Creed? No raw eggs, thanks.

We're cookin' dudes...

Break out a large mixing bowl and beat the yolks until the bright yellow turns lighter, slowly add your 2/3 cups of sugar while beating until dissolved.

Throw in the milk, cream, and nutmeg into a medium saucepan over high heat and boil, stir every once in a while. as you keep moving your mix around a bit. Remove from the fire and slowly pour into your yolk mix. Now stir for a bit and throw back into your saucepan. Flame on until you get to 160 degrees, then pull of the flame.

Stir in your delicious Bourbon then pass it back to your mixing bowl and throw it into the fridge.

Beat your whites (yeah for all of my brothas) in a separate bowl until stiff, sprinkle and beat the 2 tablespoons in after stiffness occurs. Check your fridge mix, when its cool, whisk in the egg white mix. Throw the whole thing back into the fridge until your guests arrive...you were having people over, right? The only thing sadder than a fat chick walking into Le Spandex Boutique is you drinking eggnog alone.

I know folks that can't have eggs, but want to suffer like the rest of us. This one's for you:

Nog, Sans Egg1 cup sugar
1 cup dark rum
1/2 cup brandy
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
1/2 gallon whole milk
ground nutmeg and cinnamon (garnish)

Mix the sugar, rum, brandy and vanilla until the sugar is gone. Stir in the cow juice, then freeze until the cold and slushy. Don't worry how long, this has so much booze that it won't totally freeze.

Dash or nutmeg or cinnamon and cheers!

Okay, let's say that you either want to use the nog you just made or use store bought nog and want to "spice" it up. Then read on, young one...read on!

Since I neglected you last week, I'm goin' apesh*t this week...

I had a request for a Mudslide with eggnog, ladies and gentlemen I give you....

The Egg Slide!
Here's what you'll need
1 pre-chilled martini or fancy glass
1/2oz Vanilla flavored vodka
1/2oz Bailey's Irish Cream
1/4oz Kahlua
1oz Eggnog
1/2oz Half & Half
Gound cinnamon and nutmeg

Place all contents in your shaker kit with ice and shake the hell out of it. Strain into your glass without ice and garnish with a light dusting of cinnamon and nutmeg.

If you want it blended, replace the Half & Half with a scoop of Vanilla ice cream, then blend and put in a taller glass.

Nog-Lua
Stir in 1oz Kahlua into 3-4oz eggnog & garnish with nutmeg or cinnamon.

Trogg's Nog
1oz Grand Marnier
1/2oz Creme de Cacao
Eggnog

Pour ingredients over ice in a double rocks glass, stir and sigh...this is really livin'.

Nogibu
Yeah, it's come to this...
2oz Mailbu Coconut Flavored rum
6oz Eggnog

Build in your glass, transfer to a shaker, agitate and pour back in. Garnish with a cinnamon dusting.

Candy Nog
1/2 shot peppermint schnapps
1/2 shot Eggnog

Pour and shoot, baby!

No Nog 1oz vanilla vodka
1oz white creme de cacao (chocolate...yum)
2oz heavy cream
1-3 dashes Angostura Bitters

Shake & strain over ice and garnish with nutmeg.

Sweet Rudolph's glowing schnozz! That was like a thousand drinks I just gave you! Well, I hope you find something that you like.
Drop me a line or hell, subscribe!

If you can't be cool, then do something cool for others.
Take care,
--Cabana Dan

The worst part of Sex on the Beach is sand...

Okay, I've been doing some searching for the perfect egg nog that doesn't taste like batter or monk milk...so...I've opted to wait until next week. This week...a bar menage a trois!

We'll start as if you were gettin' dressed.

Silk Panties Shooter
Add Ice to your Boston Shaker

Add 1 1/2oz Premium Vodka
1/2oz Peach Schnapps

Shake like you're staring at your Farrah in a red swimsuit with pokies poster. Strain it into a shooter glass and serve.

Sound too easy? Let's up the ante...

Woo Woo Shooter
Make the Silk Panties Shooter in the shaker and add a splash (1/2oz) of Cranberry Juice.
1 1/2oz Premium Vodka
1/2oz Peach Schnapps
splash of Cranberry Juice

Shake the Majors off of the Fawcett and strain into a shooter glass, then serve.

Not hard enough yet? One more ingredient then...

Sex On The Beach
Make the Woo Woo Shooter and add a splash (1/2oz) of Orange Juice in your Boston Shaker.
Now agitate your big shiny shaker until you see sweat...on the metal shaker.
Strain and serve.

1 1/2oz Premium Vodka
1/2oz Peach Schnapps
splash of Cranberry Juice
splash of Orange Juice

The Trio one builds on the other. I'm feeling generous...ready?

BONUS DRINK!

Make n' shake your Silk Panties Shooter, strain into your shooter glass, then add a 1/4oz of Grenadine and KAZAAM!

Dirty Silk Panties, baby!
1 1/2oz Premium Vodka
1/2oz Peach Schnapps
1/4oz Grenadine after straining












Please remember her this way...