Nog-topia

So what's goin' on with the nog? Better yet, what the hell is Eggnog and why do we drink it during the holiday season?

Well, normally it is egg, sugar, milk, cream which is beaten like a 60's Watts rioter and topped with cinnamon and nutmeg.

It is thought that name is a condensed version of "egg'n grog in a noggin"
--we'll talk about Grog another day...as for the noggin, that was a small wooden cup used for drinking in old time English taverns.

So eggs were hard to come by in the 17th century and milk went bad quickly because the first refrigeration system didn't appear until the 1800s. At social gatherings eggs cream and alcohol (normally rum or brandy) were mixed into this big bowl and served cold to warm up guests and not really considered so much a Christmas brew, but more a Wintertime drink.

So enough of that...let's mix!

Traditional Eggnog 8 egg yolks
2/3 cup sugar plus 2 tablespoons
2 pints whole milk
2 cups heavy cream
6oz bourbon (some use rum or brandy or even split the base alcohol amount and put them all in there...it's up to your taste really)
2 teaspoons fresh grated nutmeg
8 egg whites

Most nog recipes call for doing it the old fashioned way...raw. What am I training to fight Apollo Creed? No raw eggs, thanks.

We're cookin' dudes...

Break out a large mixing bowl and beat the yolks until the bright yellow turns lighter, slowly add your 2/3 cups of sugar while beating until dissolved.

Throw in the milk, cream, and nutmeg into a medium saucepan over high heat and boil, stir every once in a while. as you keep moving your mix around a bit. Remove from the fire and slowly pour into your yolk mix. Now stir for a bit and throw back into your saucepan. Flame on until you get to 160 degrees, then pull of the flame.

Stir in your delicious Bourbon then pass it back to your mixing bowl and throw it into the fridge.

Beat your whites (yeah for all of my brothas) in a separate bowl until stiff, sprinkle and beat the 2 tablespoons in after stiffness occurs. Check your fridge mix, when its cool, whisk in the egg white mix. Throw the whole thing back into the fridge until your guests arrive...you were having people over, right? The only thing sadder than a fat chick walking into Le Spandex Boutique is you drinking eggnog alone.

I know folks that can't have eggs, but want to suffer like the rest of us. This one's for you:

Nog, Sans Egg1 cup sugar
1 cup dark rum
1/2 cup brandy
2 tablespoons vanilla extract
1/2 gallon whole milk
ground nutmeg and cinnamon (garnish)

Mix the sugar, rum, brandy and vanilla until the sugar is gone. Stir in the cow juice, then freeze until the cold and slushy. Don't worry how long, this has so much booze that it won't totally freeze.

Dash or nutmeg or cinnamon and cheers!

Okay, let's say that you either want to use the nog you just made or use store bought nog and want to "spice" it up. Then read on, young one...read on!

Since I neglected you last week, I'm goin' apesh*t this week...

I had a request for a Mudslide with eggnog, ladies and gentlemen I give you....

The Egg Slide!
Here's what you'll need
1 pre-chilled martini or fancy glass
1/2oz Vanilla flavored vodka
1/2oz Bailey's Irish Cream
1/4oz Kahlua
1oz Eggnog
1/2oz Half & Half
Gound cinnamon and nutmeg

Place all contents in your shaker kit with ice and shake the hell out of it. Strain into your glass without ice and garnish with a light dusting of cinnamon and nutmeg.

If you want it blended, replace the Half & Half with a scoop of Vanilla ice cream, then blend and put in a taller glass.

Nog-Lua
Stir in 1oz Kahlua into 3-4oz eggnog & garnish with nutmeg or cinnamon.

Trogg's Nog
1oz Grand Marnier
1/2oz Creme de Cacao
Eggnog

Pour ingredients over ice in a double rocks glass, stir and sigh...this is really livin'.

Nogibu
Yeah, it's come to this...
2oz Mailbu Coconut Flavored rum
6oz Eggnog

Build in your glass, transfer to a shaker, agitate and pour back in. Garnish with a cinnamon dusting.

Candy Nog
1/2 shot peppermint schnapps
1/2 shot Eggnog

Pour and shoot, baby!

No Nog 1oz vanilla vodka
1oz white creme de cacao (chocolate...yum)
2oz heavy cream
1-3 dashes Angostura Bitters

Shake & strain over ice and garnish with nutmeg.

Sweet Rudolph's glowing schnozz! That was like a thousand drinks I just gave you! Well, I hope you find something that you like.
Drop me a line or hell, subscribe!

If you can't be cool, then do something cool for others.
Take care,
--Cabana Dan

The worst part of Sex on the Beach is sand...

Okay, I've been doing some searching for the perfect egg nog that doesn't taste like batter or monk milk...so...I've opted to wait until next week. This week...a bar menage a trois!

We'll start as if you were gettin' dressed.

Silk Panties Shooter
Add Ice to your Boston Shaker

Add 1 1/2oz Premium Vodka
1/2oz Peach Schnapps

Shake like you're staring at your Farrah in a red swimsuit with pokies poster. Strain it into a shooter glass and serve.

Sound too easy? Let's up the ante...

Woo Woo Shooter
Make the Silk Panties Shooter in the shaker and add a splash (1/2oz) of Cranberry Juice.
1 1/2oz Premium Vodka
1/2oz Peach Schnapps
splash of Cranberry Juice

Shake the Majors off of the Fawcett and strain into a shooter glass, then serve.

Not hard enough yet? One more ingredient then...

Sex On The Beach
Make the Woo Woo Shooter and add a splash (1/2oz) of Orange Juice in your Boston Shaker.
Now agitate your big shiny shaker until you see sweat...on the metal shaker.
Strain and serve.

1 1/2oz Premium Vodka
1/2oz Peach Schnapps
splash of Cranberry Juice
splash of Orange Juice

The Trio one builds on the other. I'm feeling generous...ready?

BONUS DRINK!

Make n' shake your Silk Panties Shooter, strain into your shooter glass, then add a 1/4oz of Grenadine and KAZAAM!

Dirty Silk Panties, baby!
1 1/2oz Premium Vodka
1/2oz Peach Schnapps
1/4oz Grenadine after straining












Please remember her this way...

Love teas...

Crappy Long Islands are really easy to get. All it takes is for your bartender to overpour one alcoholic ingredient and poof! You have a tall glass that's going to make you blind or on a good day, just plain undrinkable.

Let's make sure you don't do that.

Long Island Iced Tea
Long Islands come from Babylon in Long Island, New York in the late 70s and get thier name from that. This drink wasn't invented to scare you nor put you into an alcoholic coma. No sir, this drink, when done properly will keep you comin' back for more. The thing is, if you get the LIIT base down pat, the other drinks that follow are easy peasy..
Fill a tall glass with ice and pour the following ingredients inside the glass:
1/2oz Vodka
1/2oz Gin
1/2oz Rum
1/2oz Tequila
1/2oz Triple Sec
fill with Sweet & Sour mix
Top off with 1/2 - 1oz of Cola

Shake 1-2 times and add a Lemon Wedge for garnish.

So, with the Long Island as a base...let's play:

Electric Lemonade
Use the Long Island as the base, but don't add Cola...add a splash of Limon Lime soda and you have a variation on the Electric Lemonade.

Fill a tall glass with ice and pour the following ingredients inside the glass:
1/2oz Vodka
1/2oz Gin
1/2oz Rum
1/2oz Tequila
1/2oz Triple Sec
fill with Sweet & Sour mix
Top off with 1/2 - 1oz of Lemon Lime Soda
Shake 1-2 times and add a Lemon Wedge for garnish.

Electric Lemonade aka Adios Mother F'er
For this attention-getter use the Long Island base but pull out the Triple Sec and Cola and replace it with 1/2oz of Blue Curacao (pronounced: CURE-a-sow). You'll stand out of any crowd drinking something as exotic and unnatural looking as a glowing blue drink.

Fill a tall glass with ice and pour the following ingredients inside the glass:
1/2oz Vodka
1/2oz Gin
1/2oz Rum
1/2oz Tequila
1/2oz Blue Curacao
fill with Sweet & Sour mix
Top off with 1/2 - 1oz of Lemon Lime Soda
Shake 1-2 times and add a Lemon Wedge for garnish.

Long Beach Iced Tea
Same as LIIT, but pull out the Sweet & Sour and Cola; then replace it with Cranberry Juice and Lemon Lime soda.

Fill a tall glass with ice and pour the following ingredients inside the glass:
1/2oz Vodka
1/2oz Gin
1/2oz Rum
1/2oz Tequila
1/2oz Triple Sec
Splash with Cranberry Juice
Top off with 1/2 - 1oz of Lemon Lime Soda
Shake 1-2 times and add a Lemon Wedge for garnish.

Until next time. Stay cool and don't be a jackass.
--Cabana Dan

Bloody Mary, oh yeah...I did it...

Wow, long night, huh? Need a little lovin' early in the morning? Lemme lay it on you. This is alcoholic tomato soup. See Bloody Marys are like burgers...there are all kinds out there and every place you go to makes them just a little different.
The name is once said to come from Queen Mary I (of England, not the ship) It was then thought that the name was attributed to Film Starlett Mary Pickford. Honestly, who bloody cares...here's the drink.

I'll give you my mix on it, you can add or take away as you please. You will need a mixing glass and tin or a shaker kit.

Bloody Mary
Place ice in the tall glass you'll be using, I like using a pint or mixing glass.

Now add the following ingredients:
1oz premium vodka
a dash of salt
a dash of pepper*
a dash of celery salt
a splash of Tabasco Sauce*
a splash of Cholula Sauce*
a splash of A-1 steak sauce
a dash of Worcestershire Sauce
a squeeze of fresh lime

*add more if you want this baby to bite back...

Place your mixing tin atop and flip the mixing glass so that the tin and glass look like this:

or dump everything into the shaker kit and shake about 4-6 times. Shake it like you're pissed off. Pour your remedy back into your glass and add a lime wedge and a celery stalk for garnish.

Some add horseradish, hell I knew a guy who would add shrimp, chicken and even bacon and cheese to his. If you could place it on a steak, you can put it in your Bloody Mary. Add olive brine and green olives, you've got a Dirty Bloody Mary. Add Clam juice or make it with Clamato and you have a Bloody Caesar.

As an added bonus, if you like Tequila or you didn't learn your lesson the night before...replace the Vodka with Tequila for a Bloody Maria.

An old buddy of mine just recommended a teaspoon of truffle oil for a fancy flair...but at $60 an ounce, you'd better be makin' me dinner, lunch or if you play your cards right...breakfast.

Well, that's all for this week, I'll put some additional drinks up as we progress. So remember somewhere right now there's someone who needs a drink.

See ya and be cool to each other!

--Cabana Dan

Random: Typewriter

-The first novel written on a typewriter was Tom Sawyer, written by Mark Twain.

-Tom Sawyer was a song by the Canadian progressive rock band Rush.

-Niagra Falls is in Canada. The fine for being a daredeviling barrel riding over the Falls is either $5,000 or 6 moths in jail or both..or death if your barrel sucks.

-You know what sucks? You're having an amazing day. The sun is out and frickin' bluebirds are on your shoulder. You find a ten spot and no one claims it. A passing car is playing your favorite song. An ice cream vendor gives you a free cone and as you're eating it..the unthinkable happens A bus filled with hot international strippers breaks down, you help change the tire and then you have to help rub suntan lotion on all of them. Things couldn't be better. Then your annoying depressed, universally downer friend shows up and brings a bloody thunderstorm of gloom and plain ol' bad luck. This dude doesn't have life issues...the bastard has a freakin' subscription.
You try to explain that life is what they make of it and that good makes good. Then they say, "yeah, well...blah blah..global economy..blah blah..kids in those pennies a day commercials...blah blah..locusts and the black death.." Pisses me off...that sucks.

Can I top you off or get you something else?

Typical bar conversation...

Week 1 - French Martini

I thought I'd start us out with a delicious variation on the martini. The French Martini is not only tasty, but it is really an attention getter in the bar. The drink comes from Chambord.

Chambord has been around since 1685 and is made with a cognac base with black raspberry, honey and vanilla. The bottle is shaped like a globus cruciger (The holy ball with the cross on it or the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch) because of a Louis XIV link.

Anyway, if you dig raspberries and fruity stuff...you'll turn your granny into the cops for smoking weed for her "glaucoma" for a sip of it.

Here's what you'll need:
1 Chilled Martini glass
1 Shaker kit
1 1/2oz Premium Vodka
3/4oz Chambord
splash of pineapple juice

Throw all of the ingredients into the shaker with ice and shake about 3-4 times to get it mixed and frothy. Strain the drink into your chilled glass and serve with a smile, because you just brought a little heaven down to Earth.

See you next time!
--Cabana Dan